So easy, the Government Employees Insurance Corporation could do it

I learned today that the GEICO cavemen might be getting their own network sitcom, that ABC is seriously considering a pilot. I'm no great lover of either the insurance or advertising industries, but much to my surprise, I find myself rooting for these put-upon neanderthals. The best one is when the main caveman is on the moving sidewalk in the airport terminal, gliding along in full hipster regalia to the lightly angsty tones of "Remind Me" by Röyksopp. He glides past a GEICO poster showing a stereotypical caveman looking befuddled next to a computer, and glides on out of the frame. Then he reappears, walking against the moving staircase to scrutinize the poster exasperatedly. Whoever that actor is, he deserves some kind of prize for being able to convey emotion so clearly through all the latex prostheses.

Having a series based on insurance commercials might seem like the very depth of creative desperation on ABC's part, but as I think about it, there are ripe possibilities for very genuine conflict in a sitcom based around neanderthals in modern America. It certainly couldn't be any worse than anything else on the networks. Also, I think there would be genuine social value in having our hominid predecessors and cousins more in the public consciousness.

The well-known gecko that set all of this in motion was created by The Martin Agency in 1999. I find myself confronting the fact of having cousins younger than the GEICO lizard. Fun gecko fact: his original, upper-class British voice was originally performed by Kelsey "Frasier Crane" Grammer. Now the gecko has a working-class East London accent, presumably to make him more accessible to the masses. Then there's the long series of ads exploiting marginal celebrities for cheap laughs. I'd expect to be annoyed by or indifferent to these ads, and yet, they remain surprisingly ingratiating and funny after many repetitions. Dig the one with Burt Bacharach; the little melody he croons behind the woman's story is a beauty. Maybe he should cut a whole album of twenty-three second songs. The one with Don LaFontaine is another favorite of mine, similar to a game I play with my wife and friends where we improvise movie trailers:

"In land... before time. In a world... without hope. One man must choose.... between the love of a child... and the fate... of a galaxy!"

I think it's a brilliant stroke to reveal the owner of such a powerful disembodied voice to be a completely ordinary looking middle-aged guy with a salt-and-pepper beard in khakis from the Gap.

So anyway, the cavemen. First there was the one where the announcer says "Geico.com: so easy, a caveman could do it" and the neanderthal guy holding the microphone boom abruptly drops it and storms off the set saying "Not cool, man! Not cool!" Then there's the sequel, where a spokesman is attempting to apologize to two cavemen in an LA restaurant. What I appreciate about this little mini-drama is its specificity, its attention to detail. They spent a lot of money scouting the location for this ad, a lot of money on costumes (dig the one caveman's white suit, the colored sunglasses perched on his forehead), a lot of money on props (notice the fresh flowers on the table), a lot of money on writers who would know to have one caveman order the roast duck with the mango salsa. GEICO isn't doing this for its own and my amusement. They spent four hundred million dollars on ad time and space in 2005, and the Wall Street Journal guesses it was more like half a billion last year. Half a billion dollars for cavemen and geckos? Imagine the competition these guys must be facing for that kind of expenditure to be worthwhile.

Fun fact about GEICO: in addition to the expected car, home and boat insurance, they can also insure your umbrella!

Addendum: Now that the novelty of the cavemen is wearing off, I'm starting to have grave doubts about the wisdom of the sitcom. Ruben Bolling puts it most clearly, as usual.

© ethan hein 2007 | back to memebase | back to top